Advice From Your Fairy Godmother

Dear Potential Customer,

As your Fairy Godmother, it is my wish for you to live happily ever after. While my goal is to help you choose the perfect gown, I also want you to be aware of the choice you make in the person you decide to marry. Please read the following before buying a wedding gown or going any further with your wedding plans. If you recognize any of these warning signs, listen to that little voice in your head telling you not to get married. It’s not too late to get help. If none of these things apply to you< and your potential spouse, then congratulations! I am so happy for you and appreciate the opportunity to help you find your dream gown. Remember that your wedding is one of the most wonderful days of your life. Every woman deserves to be treated like a princess.

Doreen Monis-Wright

15 Reasons to Leave Your Lover, Warning Signs of an Abusive Personality

Something’s just not right in your relationship, and you can’t put your finger on it. So here’s some help. If your mate is displaying a combination of these behaviors, then you may have a potential batterer on your hands.

  1. Quick Involvement
    Comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this by any one.” Pressures you for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.
  2. Jealousy
    Extremely possessive, calls constantly, or visits unexpectedly.
  3. Controlling Behavior
    Interrogates you intensely about whom you talked to and where you were, checks mileage on your car, keeps all the money, insists you ask for permission go anywhere or do anything.
  4. Unrealistic Expectations
    Expects you to be perfect and meet their every need.
  5. Isolation
    Tries to cut you off from family and friends; deprives you of a phone or car; tries to prevent you from holding a job.
  6. Blames Others for Problems
    It’s always someone else’s fault-the boss, their parents, you-if anything goes wrong. Everyone is out to get them.
  7. Blames Others for Feelings
    Always saying, “You’re hurting me by not doing what I tell you” or “You make me angry” instead of “I’m angry”.
  8. Hypersensitivity
    Is easily insulted. They’ll rant about injustices that are part of life.
  9. Cruelty to Animals and Children
    Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also, may expect children to do things way beyond their ability, or tease them until they cry.
  10. Playful use of Force During Sex
    Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex says they find the idea of rape exciting.
  11. Verbal Abuse
    Constantly criticizes you or says cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names.
  12. Rigid Sex Roles
    Expects you to serve, obey, and remain at home.
  13. Sudden Mood Swings
    Switches from sweet and loving to explosively violent in a matter of minutes.
  14. Past Battering
    Admits to hitting women or other partners in the past but says the other person or the situation caused it.
  15. Threats of Violence
    Makes statements such as “I’ll break your neck,” then says, “I didn’t really mean it.”

*source: Legal Aid Society of Middle Tennessee and the project for victims of Family Violence, Fayetteville, Arkansa